Thursday, 9 February 2012


Occasionally – very occasionally – False 9 gets it wrong. We had previously suggested that JT’s ouster as Il Capitano was Don Fabio’s doing, the result of crossed wires, language barriers. We thought it may also have had something to do with a bizarre strategy the Italian had been formulating, involving selection based solely on surnames. When the papers were leaked to False 9, we immediately believed them to be ‘surnamist’. 

No. It was all a game of Trading Places, as this image proves. Definitively.

So, Fabio’s gone. We are sure he’ll, uh, take it on the chin... 

As for ’Arry, we think that – should he be offered the England job, and not John ‘You Can Bring Your Fucking Dinner’ Sitton or Barry Fry – he ought to sit on the bench in a Pearly King outfit. And he should select Michael Brown’s mum, if only for the comedic possibilities that her getting leggy at the end of extra-time present... 

Congratulations, English Football. You’ve surpassed yourself again. 

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